I cannot tell you how strange and out of sorts I've felt this week after missing church on Sunday because of work. It's like I'm running on fumes and unable to reach for anything that will keep me steady on the road. I've been moody and mean to those around me and I've been struggling more than ever with a battle that is still raging inside me. I'm questioning all of my abilities and all of my aspirations and I feel as though I'm not directing my own steps anymore. I feel I'm being lead somewhere and I have no clue where the path will take me. It's such a strange feeling, I must say, and it's a little unsettling. Right now all I can say is that I'm running completely on faith - and from someone who has always been so analytical and has always tried to direct his own steps in life, that's a very enormous statement.
If we cannot trust our own instincts we can only trust in the will of God.
Bible study has to be my saving grace this week, because I need to feel God's presence so much right now. Not being able to be in church on Sunday has really left me feeling distant from His sweet spirit. Someone shine a light on me; Jesus shine your light on me and help me to understand the work I'm fated to do in Your name. I'm giving everything to you God and letting you lead me into whatever you have in store.. I know you hear me, Lord, and I pray in Your glorious name that you will only allow me to hear You.
5 comments:
And did we ever miss you Will! It's just not the same when someone in my flock is missing. Those "valleys" we walk through are sometimes draining, but I try to remember the words in the 23rd psalm "yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, thou art with me". Sometimes our being disconnected from the source that feeds us makes us feel like we are in a in the valley of the shadow of death. He is always there - never leaves us or forsakes us as He promised. What you wrote reminds me a little of what you have been studying in Job. We are looking forward to seeing you tonight and I pray you will be refreshed in your spirit. I am so glad we have this wonderful group who meets and uplifts each other. I'm excited to see the unfolding plan that God has for your life. See you tonight!
Struggles are often the least thing that any of us want to experience. However, it is our struggles that set us free to achieve the greater things in life. Struggles are the experiences and challenges that set the stage for accumulating knowledge-and knowledge as we all know is power. If we can we just hold on and endure what seems life unfair pain, there is always a magnificent reward that will follow, and we'll soar the heavens rather than grovel on the ground.
Your hardship sounds like what I went through not to long ago. (referring to my state of confusion)
If you know much about the human body, you may have heard that when you break a bone, it is actually stronger after it heals then what it was before it broke. You might find it helpful to compare that to your own soul.
My state of confusion pertains only to what role God has set aside for me, for I believe fully in Him and know He is with me always. But He is leading me and know not where I'm being lead. I guess that is where the confusion lies. But thank you all so much, your comments really helped.
You have faith. Now desire trust.
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